To Making Each Moment Count (Even) Amidst Cancer
Back in grade school I was asked to answer a “slum book” kind of question that went something like: If given the chance, would you like to know when you will die?
I remembered answering yes on the rationale that I’d rather know instead of without notice so that I’ll get the chance to do the things I love most with people I truly love before I go.
Of course, I knew since then that nobody knows exactly when one dies. But if it were possible, I guess everyone would like to know, wouldn’t we?
More than a year ago, I lost my father (aged just 59) to heart attack. I guess that a heart attack is the most awful way of dying (next to dying instantly after a car accident), dying without notice that is, you are ok one minute then you’re dead the next.
My father was the first person closest to me that ever died. (Well, not counting that my best buddy in first grade died with her father on a car accident the summer before second grade, but that was a long time ago, all I can remember is that her name was Mary Rose, that’s all).
Therefore, as a daughter (then living 600 kilometers away), it was really awfully painful losing my father that way – I can’t even remember the last time I told him that I love him. I only remember that one weekend he visited me (some 2 months prior to his death) when we just hanged out together, watched movies at my place, dined out and the two of us walked my little son.
That was it, our last weekend. I can’t even remember what we talked about or if we talked about something substantial. I also can’t remember calling before I got THE call that he died.
We all wish we did something of important bearing, before we lose someone we love dearly. I personally wish we were more vocal and showy of our affection, I wish I hugged my father more and said “I love you” more (verbally and not just in writing), because culturally, we are not.
Relating all of the above to cancer, at least in cancer you were given time: (for both the patient and his/her family and friends)
- Time to spend quality time together.
- Time to make amends.
- Time to re-instate affection.
- Time to do things you wanted done but never had the time to do.
- Time to make peace or find peace.
- Time to make a last will and testament (if needed).
- Time for your family to prepare (and save up) for the funeral.
Nobody wants to deal with cancer (especially the dead-end kind) or any other terminal disease, or of dying and death for that matter. They’re all debilitating and painful both physically and emotionally (not only to the patient but to the family and caregivers), not to mention expensive.
HOWEVER, in terminal cancer, you will be given time (if that is of any consolation) and what you do with that time is up to you.
BUT, whatever you do, do everything in love, for love and with love.
After all, with love, that’s when you make each moment count.
With or without cancer.
Survived/surviving cancer or not.
Tags: B5media-Science-and-Heath-Channel-Theme-day, cancer, loveRelated Stories
POSTED IN: general commentary
1 opinion for To Making Each Moment Count (Even) Amidst Cancer
ruth
Feb 8, 2007 at 9:02 pm
this entry is very touching. when i’m ready, maybe i’ll contribute to your cancer stories series. but not just yet.
Have an opinion? Leave a comment: