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People Are Starting To Reappear

by Robin Dunn Bryant on May 31st, 2007

I’m not sure if somehow they’ve found me out here in cyberspace or if they’ve done a little research and figured  out that at around the year mark I should be “safe” to deal with again, but a lot of the folks who immediately disappeared after my diagnosis have started contacting me again.  It’s really difficult for me to open my email and have a “hey girl, what’s up?” message from someone who hadn’t responded to my emails or phone calls.  It tears me up to get a voicemail from someone who turned tail and ran.

I have to say that I understand on some levels the amount of fear that cancer brings to people.  And I am a person who often puts her foot in her mouth in delicate situations, so I understand part of that as well.  But I’ve never been at a loss for words for a year.  And I’ve never completely ducked out on someone I cared about in the midst of a crisis.

I’m the one that people know they can call to get level-headed relationship advice, I’m the one whose door is always open, I’m the one who will leave the comfort of my house on a cold and rainy night to pick you up when your car dies, and I’m the one to help you fix it the next day.  Most of my friends are long-distance now.  The move in the midst of a new diagnosis was emotionally excruciating and it was made harder by the fact that people I’d hoped would be there for me were gone.  I knew that I wouldn’t be privy for folks coming over to watch movies or people bringing us something tasty they’d cooked up for dinner, but I didn’t expect a phone call to be too much.

It would’ve been much better for me if people had heard the word “cancer” and decided that they couldn’t fool with me anymore.  It’s having these folks decide now to try to come back into my life that hurts so much.

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POSTED IN: general commentary, on breast cancer